Thursday, August 21, 2008

Lisamomof4 - Remembering Robbie and Nat

Lisamomof4's Story:

Lisa's Words : (excerpt from WIR What unexpected events have slammed you and your budget 03/18/08)
I didn't always make bad financial choices...4 yrs ago I would have said we were in good shape. We had an EF/savings with $5000 and had just refi our home to a 5.3% fixed. Life was for the most part good. it's odd how in a blink of an eye your entire life can change. I wonder if that's how these Bear-Sterns people feel today? A table can be sooo stable but kick one leg out and it's all going down. I can't give a totally clear, point by point on what's like my brain see's it just in flashes, blink there it is, blink and it's 3-4hrs later, blink and a month is gone....I went from being a Mom of 5 to burying two of my children. You have health insurance, but you never think about needing life insurance for your kids...they aren't supposed to die. It's mind blowing how much funerals cost and it's all up front, they don't do payments. Robbie's birthday would have been this past weekend he'd be a junior in high school now...Nathaniel would be riding a bike and getting into the mud...I can close my eye's and still see it, remember the phone call coming in, the desperate dash to the hospital, calling dh to tell him to come meet me there...I will be forever grateful that I made it in time, going into the ER, promising not to freak at what I would see...holding my eldest son's right hand..the left was gone..looking into his eyes' and telling him it was ok, mommy was there and it was ok to go...dh afraid to go in to see...but he was gone already by then. going up to the children's ICU( life flights are expensive...but still worth it) talking to his cardiologist, knowing that his stressed heart couldn't take much( Nat was born with a genetic heart issue...could be minor to severe..his was an issue)...dh kneeling in the hall outside his room just crying, the kids coming to say good-bye, grateful that he held on that long, giving the ok to unhook the machines and letting him go back to God ...

4 years ago Lisa's family suffered a crippling loss. An accident suddenly took the life of their son Robbie. Speaking as a parent, this is that one thing that is absolutely unthinkable. I cannot imagine myself in Lisa or her husband's shoes. My mind simply will not allow it.

I wonder how they managed to pick up the pieces and paste them together in some semblence of order. According to Lisa, you inch along, minute by minute, wandering through the fog, doing what you must to get by. You try to pretend things are normal to reassure your children, you attempt to hide your grief because people don't understand. In short, you cope the best you can.

And then WHAM. Devastation strikes again. Yes, the unthinkable happened twice. A few short years after Robbie's passing, heart problems steal younger son Nat's life. I find myself at a loss for words at this point of Lisa's story. No family should have to suffer so much.

Whether one knows them personally or not, the tragedy they've endured brings tears to the eyes. Time passes and despite everything, Lisa's family emerges intact. In fact, in the midst of devastation, joy can even be found. Her name is Chloe, the newest member of Lisa's family. With her she brings hope and renewal to the fragile family.

Lisamomof4's posts on WIR allow us glimpses of her grief and heartbreak, but it is her compassion and strength which always shine through. These qualities have endeared her to many in our virtual community. We were recently saddened (not to mention outraged) to learn that Lisa had discovered Robbie's grave marker damaged and Nat's stolen for the value of the bronze. Several members of the WIR decided to reach out to her. It is our hope to help her with the cost of replacement markers. So much has happened that has been beyond her control, but this one thing we can help her make right.

Lisa was reluctant to accept our assistance. She is a proud woman and she wondered whether she is deserving of such a gift. Finally a few simple words from her pastor helped her understand our desire to help and say yes. "There is grace in both giving and receiving." In allowing us to help remember your boys, Lisa, you are indeed giving us a gift. For that, we thank you.


Lady Snark said...

"The unfortunate Parents ventured their all on their frail Bark.

And the wreck was total."

-From an English child's grave, 1791

New Mummy and Lisa, my heart bleeds for you. I can only wish you peace after such shattering losses.


beej said...

Note: Lisa's excerpt from WIR was added 08-26-08. I had originally intended to include it here but lost my train of thought somewhere along the way.

HBT-WI said...

I just don't know what to say. Thanks for accepting our help.

Sending virtual hugs and a prayer up to heaven for your family.